Friday, October 2, 2020

White Folk – Stop Casually Bringing Up Racism




So, I was out with a group recently. The day was lovely, the group was majority white (this IS Nova Scotia after all), but there was a good mix of POCs as well. The day wound down and we were gathered chatting when out of the blue, one white person told a story of a time when someone they knew said something racist. I won’t go into details, but the story was uncomfortable to say the least.

White folk, PLEASE STOP casually bringing up racism!

Stop casually asking the POC you know “Have you ever experienced racism?”

Stop telling the POC you know about how you used to be racist or said racist things. It’s great that you are on a journey and have improved, but we don’t need to know and frankly don’t want to hear that shit.

Stop casually bringing up stories of that time you or someone you know experienced racism or prejudice.

Stop casually sharing what your racist friend/family member/co-worker/person down the street said or did.

Stop telling us about your racist friend/significant other/family member/co-worker and expecting us to want to interact with them or overlook that aspect of them to make YOU feel comfortable. 

Just Stop!

When you’re in a group, take note of your audience. Are POCs present (now, this can be difficult because some POCs are 'invisible', meaning to your eye they may 'look white')? Then you can bet they have had many instances of racism, big and small. These “casual” stories you are bringing up – to your friend, to your family, at work, at a party, in a group setting or even one on one can be deeply upsetting and stir up a lot of trauma.

Personally, I have experienced thousands – yes thousands – of incidents of racism great and small, casual and downright venomous. And as long as I am breathing, I will continue to experience racism. As you can imagine, there is deep trauma there. As you can imagine, the topic simply cannot be casual for me, nor is it for other POCs.

Here’s the thing; white people get to speak about racism casually because – generally speaking – they aren’t impacted deeply by it. They can go from talking about the weather, to racism, to getting the groceries. Racism is a theoretical concept for many of them…a philosophical conversation.

It is not a theoretical concept for People of Colour. It’s. Our. Life.

People of Colour are battling to simply exist in a white world that is rooted in systematic racism. Racism and stereotyping? For us, we’ve been though hell and back over these things. We’ve watched people we love get sick and die over these things. We’ve spent many nights unable to sleep worried that our friends and family would even make it home safe. We’ve seen our communities, our families, even ourselves torn apart by these things.

For us? Racism. Is. War.

The thing is, when white folk bring up racism in a well meaning but casual way, what is being demanded of us is severe emotional vulnerability.

When you ask “did you experience…” what’s really being asked of us is for us to share deeply traumatic instances that have happened in our lives and risk punishment in the form of dismissal, denial, being debated with or told “it wasn’t that bad” (aka we are lying). This is an intimate, deeply vulnerable conversation similar to asking a person if they’ve ever been raped.

When you ask stuff like “What are you?” or “Where do you come from?” or “Do Black people say this?” or “Do Black people have a term for that” or “Do Black people do this?” you are Othering us. And we get it, we are different than you. We’re cool with that. But maybe we don’t want to be put on the spot and Othered a that particular point in time.

When you bring up racist things you used to say or do, or that your friends/family/co-workers etc. used to say or do, you are using us as emotional dumping grounds. We can’t offer you absolution – nor do we want to. Your story doesn’t help us in any way – other than to know that you used to be racist, which you most assuredly will get defensive about if we point that out.

When you casually bring up the one time you experienced racism, or heard someone say/do racist things – you are not relating to us. Not only is it insulting to try to be relatable with your handful of stories to someone who has experienced racism on a daily basis, you are stirring up deep trauma within that person’s soul.

When you tell us about your racist friend/significant other/family member/co-worker,  and then expect us to hang out with them or interact with them, you are sending a clear message that not only are you okay with racism, you don't give a fuck about how we feel or the impact this will have on us. Yes, I get it, for you their racism is just one part of their personality...one that you easily overlook. For us? It's a deal breaker, and frankly,  if you were really a friend you wouldn't callously expect anyone to overlook this. Have you ever considered that racism...which INCLUDES being around people who engage in racist behavior...is severely stressful and traumatizing to a POC? What you are really asking a POC to do when you expect us to interact with racists in your life is endure a highly stressful situation where WE, not YOU, are on pins and needles in fight or flight mode, having to be on alert for if or when something racist will be said or done. Frankly? If you were a true friend you would never dream of asking this of the POC.

Not only is insensitive to do these things to a POC, it’s cruel. In doing these things, white people become part of the problem of compounding racial trauma, no matter how well meaning they may feel.

And also – have you ever considered that sometimes a POC just can’t or doesn’t want to “go there” at that particular time, even if they did so before? Maybe we’re tired (exhausted!), maybe something happened a few days ago that you don’t know about and we are wrestling with it, maybe on that day, at that time, we just don’t fucking wanna.

And sure, a POC could say back off, but chances are you caught us off guard and we just don’t want to deal with the stress and drama of having to tell you to keep that shit to yourself, or explain why we don’t want to go there right now.

“But Brown Canadian Woman, you said the key to going forward is open communication. What gives?”

I still believe that, but you have to approach this communication with compassion. Don't forget, you are engaging with someone who has and continues to experience deep trauma.

Now, look, personally I usually don’t mind discussing race – but not in a cavalier way. Not in a group of white people and never with white people who have been dismissive or engaged in passive racism before and haven’t acknowledged their mistake and started showing signs of change.

So, ask! Ask every time you want to ask a question or share a story or bring something up regarding racism. For God sake, ask! And let me be clear, don't ask in a group or with others around and put the POC on the spot! If you're going to ignore my 'never in a group' advice (which I STRONGLY urge you NOT to do!) , at least pull the person aside and ask one on one.

A perfect example – I know a white person who has learned to be an effective ally. They wanted to share a story of something idiotic and racist (and frankly, hilarious) a family member said to them.

1.     We were speaking one on one.

2.     There was already an established trust between us that discussing racism was safe. I knew they wouldn’t dismiss or “debate” my POV or comments if I chose to share.

3.   They asked first if they could share the story of the dumbass racist thing they heard. They waited for me to say yes. Only then did they share.

I infinitely appreciated being alerted to the fact that a potentially triggering story was about to be shared.

I infinitely appreciated being asked!

I infinitely appreciated being given the opportunity to say no.

But most important? I infinitely appreciated that they were aware of the impact such a conversation may have had on me, and cared enough to pause and prepare me for the topic ahead.

So, to summarize:

-Don’t bring up racism out of the blue or in a casual way.

-Don’t bring up racism in a group or crowd, gathering, party… Ever. Just…don’t. OK, I get it, you know everyone there and think they’re cool and it’s a safe space and all, but does the POC? Does the POC even want to go there at that time? Don’t forget, what is ultimately being demanded of here is extreme emotional vulnerability from the POC, NOT you. What is likely to happen is the POC will be stressed out and triggered, NOT you.

-Don’t tell stories of how you used to be racist or said racist things.

-Don’t share stories of when you witnessed racism but did nothing.

-Don’t assume because you’ve spoken about this with other POCs or feel knowledgeable about the topic, that that particular POC at that particular time will welcome speaking with you on racism. Hell, don’t even assume that if you spoke with THAT POC before about racism they will welcome you bringing up racism out of the blue at any given time. These topics are emotional labour for us and sometimes we just don’t want to or can’t muster up the energy or desire.

-Don’t assume that because a POC didn’t tell you you crossed a line, everything is okay.

-Don’t assume the story you shared was welcome.

-Make sure the person you are speaking to trusts you enough to have this conversation or hear this story. If speaking about these issues is new territory between you and someone, you can always explain that you have a question or wish to share something regarding racism and would the POC mind if you did. Give them the opportunity and frankly the dignity to say no if they so choose.

-Finally, BEFORE bringing something up, ASK! And wait for us to say yes or no. Every time. Ask and say “please feel free to put your hand up and stop this conversation or call me out if I step out of line or you’ve simply had enough.”

Ask. And if a POC then opens up and starts sharing with you? Stop talking and Listen.

 

 

Thursday, July 30, 2020

Peonage

In 1866, one year after the 13 Amendment was ratified (the amendment that ended slavery), Alabama, Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas, Georgia, Mississippi, Florida, Tennessee, and South Carolina began to lease out convicts for labor (peonage). This made the business of arresting Blacks very lucrative, which is why hundreds of White men were hired by these states as police officers. Their primary responsibility was to search out and arrest Blacks who were in violation of Black Codes. Once arrested, these men, women and children would be leased to plantations where they would harvest cotton, tobacco, sugar cane. Or they would be leased to work at coal mines, or railroad companies. The owners of these businesses would pay the state for every prisoner who worked for them; prison labor. It is believed that after the passing of the 13th Amendment, more than 800,000 Blacks were part of the system of peonage, or re-enslavement through the prison system. Peonage didn’t end until after World War II



Friday, July 10, 2020

Diving deep into our current racial climate

I have heard arguments against the Black Lives Matter movement that basically say Black people should get their shit together. They go something like 'what about Black on Black crime?', 'what about derogatory lyrics in rap?' and say we should focus on those things instead of police brutality and white supremacy. I'm not going to dive into the power dynamics of gas lighting and deflection as tools to detract from an issue - that's a whole other can of worms, but suffice to say deflection and gas lighting are very well known and powerful tools commonly used by abusers in order to perpetuate abuse.

What I will say is that in my experience talking about and teaching about racism, when comments like these occur it is usually from the mouths of people who do not have a deep understanding of the issue.

In order to comprehend why we got to where we are now, you must know the history. This is a crucial foundation. Study the history of how Black people were brought to this country. Study and study it some more. I've been studying deeply for at least 20 years and I'm still learning. Learn about Jim Crow, segregation and red lining. Learn about the 'war on drugs'. For Nova Scotians, learn about the Black Loyalists, learn about Africville, learn about Whitney Pier’s Black community – one which the government's treatment paralleled what that of Africville.

Learn about environmental racism, racism in health care, racism in education. Learn about the power of stripping a people of their heritage - I've heard often throughout the years 'well you guys have a Black history month, why don't we have a white history month?'. Short answer to a complicated question: we don't have a 'white history' month because white values, history and culture are reflected everywhere and in everything in North America. It is interwoven into the fabric of this culture. The fact that we have a month to celebrate Black culture is, in my opinion, not a win. It is a beacon that shines on a very large problem - Black culture, history and achievements, on a societal level, are routinely ignored except for one month out of the year (and the shortest, coldest one at that!). We should not need a Black History month. The history and achievements of Black people should be taught, celebrated and acknowledged every day of the year, as should those of all cultures. Another answer to that question - I have seen lots of celebrations, clubs and organizations that laud white culture, but the term 'white' is not used because, by and large, white people have the privilege of knowing their exact roots. For example we don't say 'white day' we say 'St. Patrick's day" - a day to celebrate elements of Irish heritage. The privilege here being that Irish people know where their ancestors came from. Black people in this country do not have the luxury of knowing exactly where our ancestors came from. We know a continent - Africa - but not a country. If we could say Nigeria or Chad or Ghana, we would. But we cannot. That was stripped away during slavery.

But I digress.

Once you have a deep understanding of the history and current issues, take it a step further and learn about abuse. Learn that abuse is not just physical.

Learn about emotional abuse. Learn about the abuser / abused dynamics. Learn about the cycles of abuse. Learn about brainwashing, deflection, denial, dismissal and gas lighting.

Learn about how abuse is used to control. Learn how isolating and stripping someone of their identity is used as a means to control. Learn and apply these principles back to slavery and our current day situation regarding systematic racism.

One pattern I have noticed is that unless something huge happens in someone's life, they will continue on whatever trajectory they have been going on. You see this all the time in stories that basically go - I was a drug abuser and headed on a downward spiral and then (insert life changing event) happened. Is it that much of a stretch to apply this to issues facing the Black community? Add generations of abuse with a lack of knowledge of and therefore pride in ones culture and therefore one’s self and then add on top of that a system that actively seeks to oppress, and you will begin to scratch the surface of answers to questions like 'what about Black on Black violence' (side note, have you ever noticed when a white person kills another white person it's not called white on white violence? The media engine is at play here influencing how we view crimes perpetuated by Black people) and why there is an issue with drugs in the Black community, single parent Black homes etc.

That said I would contest that these issues also plague white homes and communities, but the media would have us believe that these are issues that affect Black communities moreso than white communities.

Let's get into the history.

During slave times, calculated efforts were made to break slaves. You don't break a person physically, you break them mentally. You break up strong family structures and ensure they cannot be formed. You pit people against each other. You make people hate themselves. When you break a person psychologically, you set in motion a longstanding chain of events.

We've all heard the phrase 'hurt people hurt people'. This applies. If a person is broken, if they hate themselves, if they are constantly fighting an uphill battle and being broken down time and time again, wouldn't it stand to reason that that person's parenting would be compromised? If a broken person raises a child, wouldn't it stand to reason that the child would have additional issues? All parents are broken in some way - they are only human - but my point here is the additional trauma placed on Black people makes the struggle even harder in all aspects of life.

The thing is, in order to fix something that is broken, you have to first acknowledge that it is broken, then know how it was broken and then work your way backward to begin to unravel the complicated tangles that keep someone or something (in this case, society) bound to a trajectory that is no longer working.

So in saying 'what about...' you must understand that those things exist today as a direct result of the machine of systematic racism that was designed to and continues to keep Black people broken. You must also understand that the BLM movement is in place to begin addressing some of those issues in order to fix them.

Learn. Start with Willie Lynch's instructions on how to break a slave and apply what you've learned to current events.

And for those who think - well those days are long past. Pull yourself together already; think about your own life journey. Self improvement is one of the hardest things anyone can achieve in their life. Imagine trying to work on yourself and improve yourself in a hostile environment that has things in place to keep you down. Also consider this, people who are under attack enter something called Fight or Flight mode. People who are in survival mode will have an even harder time improving their life circumstances.

In order to know where you're headed, you've got to know where you've been.
Know thy history, know thyself.

Some resources to start: 



Willie Lynch - the making of a slave

Willie lynch - the making of a slave speach

Light Girls documentary

Dark Girls documentary

The racist legacy of breastfeeding


Friday, June 26, 2020

As An Indigenous Mountie For 17 Years, I Became Numb To The Casual Racism by Chad Haggerty

"You should be on the reserve where you belong.”

"Racist comments like this were something I’d overhear in quiet conversations behind my back, or from strangers I could easily dismiss. This was different. The comment was personal, the words specific to me. The uniform he wore was the same as mine."



Why English Class is Silencing Students of Color | Jamila Lyiscott | TEDxTheBenjaminSchool

What if someone told you that the way you use language every day had the power to disrupt or uphold social injustice? Language is saturated with history and culture and memory, yet the way that it is policed within our classrooms and our communities is deeply connected to racism and colonialism.

Everyday Struggle: Switching Codes for Survival | Harold Wallace III | TEDxPittsburgStateUniversity

Harold Wallace III is a Los Angeles, CA, native who received a Bachelor’s degree in Ethnic Studies from Wichita State University and a Master’s of Science in College Student Personnel from Arkansas Tech University.

The Missing Century of Black History in the Americas: Jane Landers at TEDxNashville

Jane Landers is the Gertrude Conaway Vanderbilt Professor of History at Vanderbilt University. She has written a number of works on Africans in the Atlantic World, including the award-winning monographs, Black Society in Spanish Florida and Atlantic Creoles in the Age of Revolutions. Her research has been supported by fellowships from the Guggenheim Foundation, the National Endowment for the Humanities, the American Council of Learned Societies, the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation, and the British Library Endangered Archives Programme. She directs the Ecclesiastical and Secular Sources for Slave Societies digital archive, which is preserving the oldest records for Africans in Brazil, Colombia, Cuba, and the present-day United States.

White Folk – Stop Casually Bringing Up Racism

So, I was out with a group recently. The day was lovely, the group was majority white (this IS Nova Scotia after all), but there was a good ...