Dear well meaning white people...

All of my life I have heard from well meaning white folks that racism doesn't exist in Cape Breton. Or that racism doesn't exist in Nova Scotia. Or that racism doesn't exist in Canada. Or that racism is worse in the USA (which is not true, but if it were, would that matter?).

Dear well meaning white people, the next time you feel the need to TELL us ANYTHING about race...DON'T.

ASK us.

ASK us about what we’ve seen and experienced.

ASK us what our lives have been like.

ASK us "does racism still exist?"

ASK your POC friends, co-workers, neighbors and family members what their lives are TRULY like.

Do not assume that just because we haven't shared stories with you that we do not have stories to share. Because I promise you, we most certainly do.

And then if we do choose to share...

Don't get angry at us (don't hate the messenger, hate the message!).

Don't be dismissive (do NOT say we are just sensitive).

Don’t ask if so and so meant to be rude. Maybe so and so did, maybe they didn't. That's not the point. The point is that damage was done.

Don’t assume that only hard core racist people can say or do racist things. Have you ever heard the term 'putting your foot in your mouth'? That can happen here. I have heard non-racist white people say racist things ALL THE TIME. How does this work? First you need to understand that there is a difference between racism and extremism. An extremist is someone who hates another and they may or may not be open about this. However, thanks to systematic racism permeating every aspect of our lives, we are all a little racist. How? We all have unconscious bias which may manifest itself as micro aggressions. It is very common for white people to say or do something racially offensive without meaning to cause offence. 

Don't insult us by wringing your hands and saying "I can't believe this is happening here!" or "But it's 2020!" or "But it's Canada!" (You are only shocked because your white privilege has protected you. Please do not show up centuries late to the oppression party acting all shocked).

Don't say "I never saw/experienced anything" or "racism never happened in my neighborhood" or "none of my friends/family are racist". (Ugly truth alert, were all a little racist. We all have unconscious bias. The only way to truly combat societal ingrained racism is to work to become active anti-racists).

Don't say "I've experienced racism too". No you did not. You experienced racial prejudice. There is a difference. Racial prejudice is when one person or a group of people behaves negatively toward another based on race.  This can happen to anyone. This is one element of racism, but racism as experienced by POCs from white people means the systemic oppression of a race, which POCs can't do to white people. And I promise you, your one or two or...few dozen stories do not hold a candle to our generations worth of stories.

DO NOT (!!) tell us you don't see colour. We are PROUD of our heritage. We want to be SEEN but not in a negative way. We have a different lived experience than white people because of our heritage and that needs to be acknowledged. Do not misguidedly try to white wash us.

Do not assume that there is one voice of colour or we all see or experience things the same. Don't forget we are individuals who have shared experiences regarding racial discrimination. Meaning an experience may affect the next POC differently.

Don't assume one POC has all the answers.

Don't say "why should race matter". I hear what you are trying to say, but you're doing it wrong. Race DOES matter in Canada. It always has. We need to acknowledge that.

Most importantly, do not turn away.

If we choose to open up and share our stories, we may get angry during the telling. This is ok. These stories are angering, as they should be. It's okay to tell us that hearing what happened to us pisses you off, too.

We may cry. This is ok. These stories are deeply upsetting. It's ok to cry with us.

Listen. Offer a hug if the situation warrants it. Tell us "I hear you". Hand us several tissues if needed.

Then go into the world, knowing better, and make sure to correct every well meaning white person you hear say "I don't think racism still exists" or "But not where I live" or "Well I know so and so and they never said anything  to me" or "I don't think so and so meant to be offensive" or "It's worse in the USA" or "Well, I never saw or experienced racism" or "I experienced racism too" or "No one in my family/friend group is like that" or "Not in Canada!"

Every white person you teach helps lift that burden off of our shoulders.

This is one way you can show solidarity. This is one way you can become part of the solution.

***If you found this piece informative in any way, please share!***