My cousin Ray is a very beautiful, strong, lady of colour. She has faced many challenges regarding race. Some of her stories are similar to my own, and other challenges she has faced and is currently facing are different. Why? Ray’s mother, my biological aunt, is a Black lady. Ray’s father is a (very lovely!) White man.
Ray is a lady of mixed racial descent whose skin is of a lighter complexion.
Blackness in and of itself is a complex topic. When someone identifies as being Black or a POC, they may have one parent who is white, or a grandparent... They may be able to pass for white (a term referring to people who "look white" but have African heritage), or be visible minorities while they have children who are white – passing. These are just a few examples to try to highlight how complicated the topic of what it means to be a POC Canada is.
There is no cookie cutter way POCs look. You can pass someone on the street, for example, and think you are looking at a white person, when really this person may very well be a POC. People of mixed racial descent face unique challenges both in life and internally.
It’s important to hear these stories as well and not just think that all POCs experience the same issues and challenges…or that all POCs are visibly identifiable as such.
I share with you some of her thoughts, experiences and feelings as she tries to navigate her way through the current chaos:
“My uncle told me my life would be better than his and my mother’s because my skin was lighter. I can't argue that, it has been easier than the journey he and his siblings have faced as Black Canadians.
Today my 3.5 year old asked me why I was so frustrated and crying. I talked with him about how Mommy and his grandmother look different from most of the people around here. How sometimes we get treated differently. He had already noticed that we are treated differently and by extension he is on occasion treated differently. I am thankful he has not experienced his first overt moment of racism against his person or, against another. But, I know in my heart he will, sooner than I would ever like.
I am resigned and bowed beneath the burden of race, racialization, being white-passing-but-not. I am bowed by the guilt I feel at the sheer relief I have. My sons are white – passing. They will likely not die under someone’s knee begging to breathe, while no one can help them. My grandfather and uncles did not have this luxury of colour.
The disparity of empty kind words, "not seeing colour" further enable racism and fill my heart with an incandescent impotent rage.
Say something; stand up when you see wrongs being committed. Remember to challenge your internal monologue and the ways you treat and view others. We're all a little bit racist, it's how you learn, grow, and interact with those around you that will create an opportunity for change and civil discourse. We're rioting because civil discourse has failed us.
Ask how you can support POC in your life during these flash point moments and beyond. I am not ok, and I can guarantee they're probably not ok either.”
***If you found this piece informative in any way, please share!***
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